ZAMBIA . MEN

Mood status: Attracted

Location: Waterfront Resort Livingstone, Zambia

After a day of doing absolutely jack all yesterday (unless lying by the pool counts as doing something?), it was time to get back into the spirit of vacation by taking on white water rafting down the mighty Zambezi. I was told that the category 5 rapids, eek, would help the stiffness in my neck. I’m not sure about anything at the moment so the AfriCat believed it.

As I decided to only do a half-day of rafting, I was the only one to join the other boats half way down the river, which meant that I was privately escorted by safari truck to rapid #10. There was something really, really unnerving about sitting in a truck with 3 random Zambians and being driven deep into the bush. Literally the bush. I can honestly say that I was as terrified on this truck as I was just before jumping off a bridge. In my head I was devising a plan on what to do if they decided to attack me but there was absolutely nowhere to go. We finally pulled up at a spot on top of the gorges that looked relatively legit and from there, made our descent down to the river.

The trip down was torturous. They call this the “African Ladder” which I’m not meaning to be racist or anything, most likely means the “use-at-your-own-risk ladder”. There have been just a few too many moments in the past few days that have threatened my life, so I was almost use to this one adding another notch onto my near-death belt.

Not much to say about the rafting itself that would be overly interesting for you guys. The water was rough, the boats got flipped and the crocodiles swam freely around us while we were in the water. I will tell you though of the man who followed the boats in a canoe as part of the safety crew. He was so rugged, and ripped, and just beautiful to look at. He looked like Seal without the lupus I swear, only more black and more Zambian. He battles rapids as a job. Everyday.

I’m sure he caught me looking at him a few times as we were walking back to the trucks, as he had decided to sit next to me on the safari truck and strike up a conversation about marriage and kids. This is nothing out of the ordinary though, as every African man seems to want to marry all foreign women, most likely for visa purposes but I like to think that some standards apply.

If you squint, you may be able to spot him in the first photo.

Anyway, as we were driving back, we went through one of the traditional villages where the chief lives. Zambian Seal points to a small hut and tells me the story of a village leader who lives in there with his multiple wives. I then ask him whether having many wives is normal and if he himself had many wives. He said that yes, it’s normal for multiple wives but no, he’s only 25 and doesn’t date the Zambian women as they cheat all the time and are only after your money. Was it strange that I enjoyed his answer a little bit too much? He then asked me out on a date that night, and having reluctantly declined, I retreated to my tent and found a new and very deep appreciation for the men of Zambia, ahhhh.